We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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