Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize