it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
