Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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