no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
