I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
