somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
where does the pee come out of this thing
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
