Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize