you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
