Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
