Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
