Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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