Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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