Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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