you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize