Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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