My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize