I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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