Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
