Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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