i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
