My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
