you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
