shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I am naked and annoyed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize