she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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