puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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