East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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