ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
