16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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