so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize