i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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