The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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