Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
