The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
