Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
