did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
