Plan B is the new Plan A
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
