her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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