I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
