that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
