ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
