is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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