yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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