New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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