Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize