The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
