I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
