she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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