I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
