Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
