I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
