I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
