please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
