I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
