I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the menβs room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out Iβm married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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