So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
