I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize