i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
