Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
