Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
