member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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