I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
