Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
