Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
