Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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