You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize