im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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