Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
