Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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