hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
