Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
