How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My vagina just clenched in fear
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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