Pants 0. Shit 1.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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